Learning when to accept help…

Well, today I decided that I had had enough of the mess and began tidying it. By 9am I had tidied both bathrooms, changed the bed, had my first load of washing in and was starting on my first baking venture of the day.

Whilst waiting for things to cool, I tidied the lounge as best I could, there is still stuff to go in the shed, but I don’t do that as I would probably be killed by an avalanche of stuff that my other half just piles up in the shed.

I’ve been making my Dad’s birthday cake as well, looking forward to putting it together tomorrow. Will blog it soon of course!

I’ve been dusting, hoovering, then sanding and painting woodwork in the downstairs bathroom and tried to watch some of F1 Friday Practice.

It was about 4.30pm when I had all the cakes out of the oven and my 3rd load of washing in when it hit. An absolutely agonizing shoot of pain in my back. I had to sit down that instant and have been unable to move since. It’s now almost 6pm and I’ve managed to hobble to the loo and down some painkillers, the strong ones, I just had to…

I hate feeling like this, it’s so depressing, I’m used to doing things for myself and for tonight at least, I have to rely on my boyfriend to help me. I’m glad I’ve pretty much done everything I wanted to do as I really don’t like asking for help, I’ve grown up being independent and it’s really hard for me to step back and admit when I need help. This is why my back gets so bad, because I keep doing things and pushing myself until I literally can’t stand and then I have to give in and accept help.

My boyfriend is always telling me off for doing too much and saying he doesn’t mind helping me, but I still find it hard to accept that help. He’s incredibly sweet and I love that he wants to help. I have got a bit better at accepting help, but I’m still a stubborn woman at the end of the day…

Am I the only one who finds it hard to accept help from others? I think it’s also to do with control, I admit I like being in control and when I’m doing something myself, I know what’s going on and what needs doing and I like that.

So it seems I’m going to be stuck in a vicious circle where I think I feel OK, do too much and then can’t move… Hey ho life goes on. Some people have it much worse than me.